Bro Code for Parents

What to Expect When You're Awesome

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"Congratulations!" You're about to have a kid? Well, Bro, you might be asking yourself a series of important
questions:
• Will I ever be able to do awesome things again?
• Will I be able to afford this?
• Can I ever have sex again?
• Will I be a good parent?
• Am I able to love this child as much as I love my own life?
Well, the answer to all of these questions is a rock solid "no." But just because your life is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn't mean your kid has to be as lame as you're about to become. Which is why Barney has written this book.

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Book details:

Touchstone |
176 pages |
ISBN 9781451690583 |
October 2012

$19.99 List Price

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WHY I WROTE THIS AWESOME BOOK

You might be wondering why I, Barney “the Cooter King” Stinson, have written a book about pregnancy and parenthood when I’m not a father and have, in fact, spent the lion’s share of my adult life cunningly avoiding exactly this type of life-destroying affliction. The answer is simple: money, bitches! Just kidding. I also wrote it because when my good friends Marshall and Lily gave birth to their first child, I realized that without me he’d never learn important lifelong skills like “setting insects on fire” or “learning to go upskirt” or...

GOLDISLUT AND THE THREE BROS

nce upon a time there were three Bros: Barney Bro, Marshall Bro, and Ted Bro. They were going out later for what would no doubt be another legendary night and decided to go pound some shots at the bar to get properly psyched.

Just then Goldislut, a blond hottie who lived upstairs, wandered into their pad, looking to borrow some sugar, if you know what I mean. She decided to sit down and wait for the Bros to get back. Barney’s chair was too hard (what up!), Ted’s chair was too soft, and Marshall’s chair was okay I guess, though it leans awkwardly to the left...